You do have a point, Mimi. There are different ways to look at it for sure, but eventually it boils down to what two people in a relationship implicitly agree on.
Every little thing that resembles affection may not be a concern. It's more about how one acts in a moment that reflects the individual's or the relationship's state.
The bottom line is eventually simple. Regardless of where in the spectrum of openness/conservatism a relationship belongs, if someone's doing something in a relationship, something conceptually similar to which they wouldn't want to be done to them, that's a flashing red light.