The way I see it, while it’s completely natural for you to feel that way and experience the constant void, be aware of the fact that most of the people who have same-level colleagues and share a vantage point daydream about having their own startup someday. They dream about what it would be like to be a CEO someday.
(I guess) when you decided to start CODE2040, you at least subconsciously knew that you’re embarking on adventures in solitude, sacrificing the perks of coworker company. Sometimes when the grass feels greener on the other side, and it IS greener, it may help to know you settled for bluer skies for a greater purpose. All choices come with a sacrifice, but for me at least, it helps to remind myself why I made the choices I made.
Who knows? Maybe several years down the line, you will have had such fulfilling conversations and made lifetime friends over drinks and dinners around the world, you’ll never want to trade that for anything else that you crave now.