Thanks for writing back, Bel.

I’m honestly appreciative that you had the intent of finding reasons and solutions between the lines I wrote. I’m afraid you’ve hit far off the spot though.

What I meant by giving everything and complete devotion were not related to compromising beyond self but rather loving with my heart out, being present, caring, and not at my own expense. It wasn’t related to being afraid or showing care or connection out of fear or insecurities. Rather the opposite. Both times we had a good relationship, and I assure you this isn’t my perspective only.

Sometimes, people have change of hearts. People can change with time and realize they want/need something else, or someone else that may be the answer to what they’re looking for. My details of my story are many and far more complex than one would need to draw quick conclusions based on just a few lines.

The self-doubt that I had lasted only for a little while, and I can acknowledge that it was my subconscious attempt to de-criminalize my partner because my own insufficiencies would be easier for me to accept than accepting that I have been mistreated, either by them or simply by circumstances.

But your pieces and your response to my comment do come together in one thing — it has a lot to do with perspective. Who we are and how we think shape the way we look at things, and sometimes we fall into the trap of over-generalization. We can end up drawing conclusions that don’t hold true to the facts.

It’s probably the fact that your work entails immense amount of psychological assessment and observation that led to your habit of sometimes over-inspecting a matter.

No offense intended. Just trying to provide some clarification and counter-insights.

But to put it simply, I’m glad that we have both overcome our phases of self-doubt and learned that perspectives matter. We may not always be right, but knowing that a change of perspective can change our paths going forward opens up possibilities for sure.


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“Sugarcoats are not in fashion” • Economist, teacher, photographer • Stockholm, Sweden • All posts:

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