I’m thankful that you read and responded in detail. It’s one of the joys of being here — being able to have real conversations and share stories.

The second year was the rock bottom for me as well — that’s when I felt for the first time that the marriage is doomed to fail. I looked into the future and I saw decades of misbehavior and out-of-control rage, bad hygiene and values, lack of consideration for other people — and the loudest voice in my head kept saying “I don’t want that mother for my children”.

I was in full-time studies, and would work late nights and do household chores, and on top of that constantly gave her reassurances of her goodness and progress — because she would compare our grad student lives with those with full-time jobs all the time — she wanted to be where they are, without the efforts or ambition. In return for juggling all of that, I only received abuse.

You, Tesia, did not fail at marriage. When you yourself were the final sacrifice remaining to save the marriage, you definitely succeeded. On top of that, you found your way out to a better life. I only have congratulations to give to you.

Thank you for sharing your story.

When 2019 began I decided that I’m going to write about my marriage — the struggles, failures, recovery and triumph — all of it. I didn’t expect to share so much as a response to someone’s story before I publish something of my own.

That was the power of your story. Thank you for that!

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“Sugarcoats are not in fashion” • Economist, teacher, photographer • Stockholm, Sweden • All posts: tiny.cc/22b5tz

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